Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Are you ready?

Usually, when I haven't blogged in a week, its because I don't have much to blog about. I am not a "I did this today" sort of blogger, I usually like to blog about things that are happening in my life. This past week has been a tough week on many levels and basically not stuff I want to blog about. Because I love blogging, I usually write my blogs in my head while things are going on, you know.. that's why I think to take pictures of weird things, or funny things... crafts, or events.
I have written a blog about this week so many times and it just doesn't come out right. So here is my take on things. This week, our family lost, yet another member. My second father in law, (my mother in law's common law hubby). Pudgy has been a part of my family for 24 years. On Monday, at the age of 56, he passed away suddenly, while waiting in line at the drug store to make some purchases. He was on his lunch hour from work, after having lunch with a few of his co-workers.
Shock vibrated through his friends and family for the first few days. I spent my time trying to remember what we talked about the last time I saw him. I wished I had hugged him good bye that day. But we did stand in the kitchen and laugh about something... which is just what I hoped we had done for our last conversation.
The rest of the week has been finding things... you know, at 56, your not really thinking your going to die. So your paperwork is sort of everywhere in the house. We had to collect all kinds of items from all kinds of locations. And actually, Pudgy kept very little paper work. He didn't keep old bills, or old income tax stuff...
For me, this is the 3rd memorial service in 10 months and the third father figure to die suddenly in our family. These sort of events start a person to think about how ready am I. When my dad died, he was very organized and had everything in a book, in a box, in his room. His banking was organized and his wishes were known. Terry's dad was also organized, and his wife Marie and he had talked about things since Frank had battled cancer the year before and this gave them a kick start to get things in order. This newest death is my kick start. "Pudgy" (nickname from childhood) wasn't ready, and who would be at 56. Besides thinking I need to enjoy life more, I also need to get papers organized and wills updated, etc.
My friend Linda gave me this list just a month ago, and its been hanging on my fridge ever since. I am typing it up for all of us to look at, and its a good thing for all of us to do. Dealing with death is hard enough, sudden or not. Having things already in the right spot is the nicest thing you can do for your family.

What you should have put in a binder
Your will - with executor selected and beneficiaries listed
Social Insurance Numbers
copies of birth certificates
RRSP, RESP, investment information
Life, home, car, medical and dental insurance
pension information
medical and dental providers
credit card information
line of credit
bank accounts
bills... Eastlink, Fuel, Mortgage, Car payments, phone service etc
Car registration copy
car bill of sale
Samples of Monthly bills
samples of monthly payments
Saving Bonds
Work phone numbers and contact names.
Information on your wishes upon death (bury or cremate)
Donor card or not
Ceremony/Music

Thanks to Don Rawding for this information (via Linda). I have started a new will and have talked to my kids about what they want, etc. They laugh it off, but I have a renewed drive to write things down. If I make my kids lives easier at the time of my death, I will thank my dad for inspiration and Pudgy for the kick in the pants to actually get it done!

8 comments:

ancient one said...

Sorry, Donna for your loss. This is a very important post. We all need to do this, but a lot of us are still putting it off!

mvm said...

So sorry to hear about your loss Donna. I agree about getting everything in order and because my husband is so organized we do have everything in one place because you are right, you just never know.
Thinking of you.
Hugs,
Mary

Anonymous said...

Oh Donna - Your family has been through so much this year. I wish I knew what to say or do - I know that you would have the exact right thing to say if the circumstances were reversed.
Thank you for the list, and the kick in the butt. I need to get things organized in the Walker household. We have all of those things, but they need to be put in one safe place!
Love ya,
Debbie

cpm said...

We definitely need to get more organized...we don't even have a will! oye!
Thanks for the great information. Again, I'm so sorry for your loses...enough now!

Taryn said...

Thank you, Donna...wishing you peace.

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